“It is appointed unto men once to die, and then the judgment.”
I am 95% certain that I am dying of a rare and incurable disease – a disease that seems intimately connected to my spiritual bankruptcy. Whether it is a medical anomaly or the finger of God, the conclusion is functionally the same: I’m dying because I did not take care of my soul.
This blog will be my account of a failed person: a toxic inner life, devoid of genuine virtue, spilling over and destroying the body. It is a story of sin and blindness and suffering; of quiet despair and a distrustful hiddenness and subtle deceit. Best-case scenario: I die only once. One death is for the redeemed, twice born. Two deaths is for the sinner and faithless, of a single birth. I thought I was twice born until I seemed unable to shake stubborn, sinful habits. Doubt crept in, followed by hiding, ultimately leading to despair.
I promise nothing in terms of the cohesiveness and linearity of the posts, chronological or otherwise. It is fleeting time and a probable diminishing of coherence that are against me. Perhaps through this blog I can salvage some redemptive purpose and save myself from empty-handed embarrassment on the day of judgment, though I profess no confidence in achieving such a result. For what it’s worth, I offer myself to God in this project to use as He wills.
Grace and Peace
SDA
Last Things 